To Love-An Android
by CrimsonKyuubiSage
Summary: Sent on a one-way ticket from his home planet, used as an experiment by the government, Naruto didn't think his life could get any more complicated. Dealing with obsessive rabbit goddesses, clingy vixens, high school dramas, the Japanese government, how could it possibly get more crazy than this! A certain pink-haired Devilukean decided to show how. NaruHarem. Lemons possibly.


**Author's Notes**

**Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooo People! CrimsonKyuubiSage here! You know, it may feel a little bit like I'm practically randomly firing off potential stories, but in reality... well, it kinda is that. I'm writing potential stories that I hope will do pretty well. This story, despite having 'Android' in the title, will have nothing to do with Dragon Ball Z. This is a Naruto/To Love Ru crossover. Now, if you've read this far, then either one of three thoughts will pop up in your head. One: Oh, I know that anime. Two: What the f*ck is To Love Ru. Or three: I like turtles. **

**This story, will without a doubt, be a NaruHarem fanfic.**

**Here is the current NaruHarem list:**

**Lala Satalin Deviluke**

**Saki Tenjouin**

**Yui Kotegawa**

**Run Elise Jewelria**

**Kaguya Ootsutsuki**

**Riko Yuuki**

* * *

**Well... I guess I should get on with the story! I hope you enjoy it! Read and Review!**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto or To Love Ru!**

"Go Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun!" -Regular Speech

'_That means teleport me now_!' -Regular Thought/Sarcastic Remark

-Sainan High, 12:34 P.M.- -Time and Setting

"**Grrrrr**." -Demonic Speech/Godly Speech

'_**These readers don't know I can break the fourth wall**_.' -Demonic Thought/Godly Thought

_"Back in my day..."_ -Flashback/Dream/Other Text

_**(Dame Dame Da by Shiori Tomita)**_ -Song Insert

Chapter -Chapter Start/End

* * *

Chapter Start

-Unknown Location-

A blinding white light. That was the first thing that he had registered when he regained consciousness. He tried to move his hands to shield himself from the harsh illumination, but felt his arms strain against the familiar feeling of cold, hard metal. He tried to look at his surroundings with his limited range of vision, only to find he was in a strange white room.

'Okay... how the hell did I get here?' he thought. The clicking sound of a door opening caught his attention, and soon three strange men wearing white labcoats entered his field of vision.

"Hello there, young man. Do you know who we are?" the first man asked.  
"No."

"I am Doctor Edward Richtofen, and these are my companions Doctor James Marcus and Doctor Ludvig Maxis. Can you tell us who you are?" the first man, now identified as Richtofen, asked.

"Naruto... Naruto Uzumaki..." The person in question was a young boy that stood at 5'4" with spiky golden blond hair, slightly tanned skin, cerulean blue eyes, and three whisker-like scars on each cheek.

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki, do you know how you got here?" the second man, Marcus, asked.

_Flashback Start_

_-Valley Of The End-_

_"Chidori (One Thousand Birds)!/__**Rasengan**__ (Spiralling Sphere)!" The two brothers in all but blood clashed, one to cut all his ties and the other to stop him. Sasuke Uchiha, sole surviving member of the once great Uchiha clan, a clan that his own flesh and blood brother slaughtered. Naruto was trying to stop Sasuke from making a terrible decision, the latter having been offered power to kill his brother, Itachi, by a vile man named Orochimaru. A retrieval team was formed to catch Sasuke, but one by one they were left to fight the Sound Four, a four-man cell that was tasked with escorting the last Uchiha to Orochimaru. Now all that was left was Naruto and Sasuke._

_Their two attacks collided, their demonically-enhanced jutsus colliding, causing the very air surrounding them to start to distort violently. In one universe, Naruto might have missed on purpose, not wanting to kill his brother. But instead, Naruto decided to try to overpower Sasuke's attack, fully intending to bring the Uchiha back even if it meant he was in a coma._

_'Oi, fox! I need more chakra!' Naruto mentally yelled._

_"__**Keep it down, brat. I can hear you just fine.**__" a deep voice said from within Naruto's mind, a second tail popping up from Naruto's back in the form of a red bubbling cloak of demonic chakra. A primal roar escaped Naruto's lips as he pushed forward, his purple Rasengan slowly pushing back Sasuke's Chidori. Sasuke grit his teeth and began to push back against Naruto._

_A bright light began to engulf the duo, but neither one noticed, both boys more focused on overpowering the other. The bright light soon engulfed both Naruto and Sasuke, as well as a major chunk of the land surrounding them._

_When the light finally died down, Naruto, Sasuke, and over seventy-five percent of the Valley Of The End were gone. This was the sight that a gravity-defying silver-haired man stumbled upon._

_"No... Naruto... Sasuke..." the man said, falling down on his knees, tears flowing freely from his one uncovered eye. 'Minato-sensei... Rin... Obito... I've failed you all...'_

_-T.R.O.N. (The Realm Of Nonexistence)-_

_Naruto finally regained consciousness after hours upon hours of resting and recovering from his fight with Sasuke, only to find himself surrounded by an endless pitch black void._

_"__**You really did it this time, brat. Of all the stupid shit you've done...**__" the deep voice said from inside Naruto._

_"Kyuubi? What happened? Where am I?" Naruto called out._

_"__**Don't talk out loud. And Kyuubi isn't my name, it's Akane.**__" the deep voice, now identified as Akane the Kyuubi No Yoko, stated._

_'Akane? I thought your name was Kyuubi.' Naruto mentally questioned._

_"__**Kyuubi is just a title. Akane is my real name.**__" Akane replied._

_'I don't get it. Why tell me this now? I thought you despised me.' Naruto mentally stated._

_"__**Of course I despise you. But that idiotic stunt you just pulled has probably doomed us both. And I don't want to die in in obscurity.**__" Akane stated._

_'You still haven't told me what happened and where I - we are.' Naruto mentally said._

_"__**The energy released from the impact from the Uchiha brat's and your attacks caused a tear in the space-time continuum that sucked both of you up. The place we're in right now, my father had dubbed The Realm Of Nonexistence, T.R.O.N. for short.**__" Akane said._

_'Why is it called The Realm of Nonex... Nonne... T.R.O.N.?' Naruto mentally asked._

_"__**Because this place is outside of time and space. The only thing that's outside of time and space is nothing. Ergo, nothing exists. Hence the name Nonexistence.**__" Akane explained. "__**By the way, I'm a girl.**__"_

_"EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" Naruto exclaimed, his eyes widening to comical proportions._  
_"__**Out of **_**Everything**_** I've said so far, **_**that**_** was the shocking part?!**__" Akane comically yelled, a tick mark appearing on her head inside the seal. Before she could continue her rant, she felt a strangely familiar presence. '__**What the...**__'_

_'What's the matter, Akane? You just went oddly quiet-' Naruto mentally started before he froze up, feeling the same presence as Akane, only he didn't recognize it like Akane did._

_Before Naruto or Akane could react to the presence, a speck of bright white light appeared in the endless void. The speck quickly became larger and large, making its way to Naruto._

_"__**Naruto, go into the light.**__" Akane said._

_"_Heeeeeeeellllllll_ no! Pervy Sage always told me that if I ever saw a white light to go in the _opposite_ direction!" Naruto comically yelled._

_"__**Dammit! That's a different kind of light!**__" Akane comically yelled back._

_"__**No! I will not loose my chance at freedom!**__" a demonic, yet clearly feminine voice yelled. Naruto suddenly felt a surge of power course through his body. A strange, powerful... primal energy attempting to latch onto him. "__**Noooooooooooo!**__" the feminine voice yelled as Naruto was engulfed in the light. Seconds later, a strange woman appeared out of thin air. "__**Darn it! If I had a little more time, I would've been able to escape with him on time! No matter, three years is a breeze compared to an eternity.**__"_

_-Somewhere in the Kansai Prefecture, Japan, Planet Earth-_

_The land was silent, the sun showing no signs of peaking over the horizon anytime soon as the cascade of night covered the area. This peaceful nocturnal region was quickly disrupted when a blaring beam of white light burst from the nearby forest. When the light died down, Naruto had collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion, his clothes having been turned into tattered remnants of an orange jumpsuit that barely clung to his body and covered his modesty._

_"__**I can't believe it... I **_**really**_** can't believe it. You've got to have some sort of godly blessing or something that is looking out for you, 'cause nobody, and I mean **_**Nobody **_**has that much sheer luck.**__" Akane stated. "__**And he's unconscious. Great... just great. Stuck in an idiot on another freaking planet. Could this get any worse?**__" As if the universe wanted to just piss off Akane, two dozen men dressed in all black appeared, finding Naruto and grabbing the blond boy in his knocked out state. "__**Me and my big mouth...**__"_

_Flashback End_

"I... I don't really remember much..." Naruto lied, causing Richtofen to laugh. "I don't get it, what's so funny?"  
"You are, my dear boy." Richtofen stated, a creepy smile on his face that reminded Naruto of Orochimaru. "You actually think that you can lie to us and get away with it."

"We know what you are, _alien_." Marcus stated, spitting out the last word with clear and present disdain.

"Alien?" Naruto questioned out loud.

"An extraterrestrial, something that isn't from Earth." Marcus replied before turning to Richtofen. "If you'd excuse me for one second, I must get the first device."

"I told you we should have just brought it in with us." Richtofen sighed. "Do make haste, Marcus."

"W-What is he talking about?" Naruto asked.

"Do you know why you are here?" Richtofen asked, getting Naruto to shake his head. "No? Well, allow me to clear that up..." he said, pulling a small metal table into view. Naruto didn't need to be a genius to know what was on that table. After all, he's been in and out of Konoha's hospital enough times to recognize medical equipment and tools. "Normally, we'd just dissect you and when you eventually died we'd do an autopsy on your corpse. But you... you are one of the very few unique exemptions. Your body structure is humanoid to the point that you could easily be mistaken for a human. Had it not been for the fact that you appeared out of a bright light and that your biophysical makeup was slightly off to be considered a human, we would've mistaken you for one of us. So we've decided not to dissect you, rather, we're going to test some things that would be considered inhumane to most..." At this, Richtofen picked up a scalpel and Marcus reentered the room, a strange orange-brown metallic hexagonal object in his hands. Naruto was only able to get a glimpse of this before he was forced to focus on Richtofen when the man stabbed the scalpel into the middle of the blond's upper chest. "But seeing as you aren't human, I see no reason to be humane in this procedure."

"Richtofen! Maxis! You can't be serious! He is just a child!" Maxis exclaimed, only to be slapped hard across the face by Marcus, sending Maxis sprawling onto the ground.

"That THING is no boy!" Marcus yelled. "Or are you becoming soft, Maxis?"

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Naruto yelled as Richtofen cut open his chest, a sadistic smile on the doctor's face when he reached into the incision on Naruto's chest and, without hesitation, pulled the boy's ribs open. Maxis watched on passively, though he visibly flinched as Richtofen pulled Naruto's ribs open, the sounds of each bone cracking being etched into both the brains of Naruto, Akane, and Maxis.

"Doctor Marcus, the device." Richtofen said, the other doctor handing the strange machine over to Richtofen. "This here, is something very rare, even by galactic standards. Something known as an Infinity Cell."

"We don't know much about how it works, but what we do know is that it is a Tier Zero or Transsentient technological device. What we've come to find out about Tier Zero technology is that it predates everything. That it's creation was from one of the first civilizations in the universe. But more importantly, Tier Zero technology is the most advanced in the usage of neural physics." Marcus stated. "This Infinity Cell is meant to fuse with its host, making them both organic and inorganic in composition. Unfortunately, all other attempts at the fusing process have resulted in the host's body rejecting the item and leading to an excruciating death. But hey, you know what they say..." he said as Richtofen shoved the Infinity Cell into Naruto's chest cavity. "Fifteenth times a charm!"

"**Dammit! What are those idiots thinking? How did they even get their filthy hands on Precursor technology?!**" Akane yelled.

'Kyu - Akane! It... I... I feel like I'm dying...' Naruto mentally exclaimed, feeling his life force weaken with each second.

"**... Ah, shit. If you die, I die. And it may take **_**centuries**_** on this planet for me to reform.**" Akane stated. "**Okay, I've got an idea. It's crazy, but it just might work.**"

'What is it?!' Naruto mentally asked, physically gritting his teeth in pain.

"**I'm going to try flooding your body with my chakra. Hopefully that will speed up your healing factor to the point that the Infinity Cell can settle in and your body won't reject the device.**" Akane replied.

'Do it!' Naruto mentally yelled, crying out in pain as he broke out into a stark sweat, his color paling as he felt the icy grip of death approaching. Less than a second later, a steady stream of Akane's chakra saturated Naruto's chakra coils. Not enough to cause a chakra shroud to appear, but enough for his whisker marks to darken and become more animalistic.

"Oh? This certainly is an interesting reaction. None of the the other patients had this type of reaction." Richtofen stated.

"Indeed." Marcus said.

"**That should be enough for now. The device seems to have become bonded to you now, Naruto. Your body won't reject it now.**" Akane stated.

'Thank you... Akane...' Naruto mentally said. Everything started going black for Naruto, the stress of the Infinity Cell's fusion beginning to take its toll on the boy.

"Ohohohohohohohoho! Think of all the experiments we could perform knowing that the boy has an accelerated regeneration factor!" Richtofen exclaimed in a maniacal glee.

"Welcome, Naruto Uzumaki, to Project CX-875..." Marcus said.

-Two Years Later-

Naruto's eyes snapped open. He looked around his surroundings, only to find he was still in the same place as before. The boy had been confined to his restrains for so long, the days had begun to blur together, leaving him unsure of how long it had been since the experiments had begun. Naruto had changed over time, growing to stand at 5'8" his spiky blond hair having grown shoulder-length and his face had less baby fat than before. But the most startling change about the blond was his eyes. His once cerulean blue eyes had dulled to a pure blue color that emitted a slight glow.

Naruto was still strapped to the medical bed with only a pair of black sweat pants as his sole article of clothing. He would try to escape, and he has attempted to do so before, but every attempt had ended with failure. Not only had the experiments gotten worse each time, but they had begun to drug the boy into sedation. Naruto had begun to grow a resistance to the drugs administered, so every few weeks the doctors had upped his dosages. Were it not for Akane, then Naruto was certain that he would have become addicted to the drugs.

Speaking of the doctors, Richtofen and Marcus had made Naruto their personal medical playground. It started with blood samples, but it had quickly escalated to the point where at times Naruto would wake up to the feeling that some of his organs were missing. And he was correct in his assumptions, either Akane or one of the doctors would tell Naruto that parts of his body had been partially or completely replaced by various alien technology the Japanese government had 'acquired' over the years. So many devices had been integrated and become part of the blond's body that Naruto was unsure if he was more organic or inorganic.

While Richtofen and Marcus had been cruel to him, Maxis had shown sympathy and kindness to Naruto, providing the blond with food that wasn't in the form of shoving a tube down his throat, unlike how Richtofen and Marcus did.

"Oh Mr. Uzumaki~! Guess who it is?" a familiar, sadistically gleeful voice called out. Richtofen entered the room alongside Marcus and Maxis.

"..." Naruto remained silent, partially because he didn't want to dignify the question with a response, and partially because he was drugged and slipping in and out of consciousness, though he still glared harshly at Richtofen and Marcus.

"Not going to talk? Oh well then. But there's great news! After two years of experimentation, you're free to - Pfffffffffffffffttttttttttt! Hahahahahahaha!" Richtofen laughed. "Ohohoho! I can't say that with a straight face! But in all seriousness, we're finally done with the integration of alien technology. Now all that's left to do is to mold you into the greatest super soldier. Since you probably won't be remembering any of this conversation, or anything for that matter, I see no harm in telling you how you will be broken."  
"May I do the honors?" Marcus asked, getting a nod from Richtofen. "We'll be administering you an experimental drug known as Z-38. And if that doesn't work, we could always resort to good 'ol fashion torture-" Before the sadistic doctor could say anything else, Maxis pulled out a custom .357 RS Revolver that had an intricate wooden handle and shot Marcus right between the eyes before putting two more bullets into Richtofen's right shoulder and the upper part of his chest.

"Agh!" Richtofen exclaimed, falling onto the ground. "Why Maxis?!"  
"I cannot allow you or Marcus to go through with this. I will no longer sit idly by and watch as you destroy a child, no matter if he is human or alien." Maxis said, pulling the trigger and putting another bullet into Richtofen. Maxis's arm flopped down to his side as he stared at the two monsters of men he had worked with for a few seconds before rushing over to Naruto and undoing the blond's restraints. "Don't worry, Naruto. I'm going to get you out of here alive." he muttered, slinging Naruto's arm over his shoulder as the sounds of an alarm blared throughout the building. Maxis dragged Naruto down the narrow hallway, the latter blacking out right as they made their way to the stairs.

"...ruto... Naruto... Naruto!" Maxis yelled, causing the blond boy to awaken.  
"Wha... What happened?" Naruto questioned, looking around at his surroundings, only to find that it was nighttime and that he was in an unknown forest.

"Listen, Naruto, I need you to run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back." Maxis said.  
"Wh-What's going on?" Naruto asked, worried for the only doctor to show him sympathy.  
"They're coming, Naruto. You have to go. Now!" Maxis exclaimed, causing Naruto to jump up and start running. "Naruto!" Right as the blond was about to escape through a nearby bushes, Maxis called out to him. "If you ever find my daughter, Samantha, tell her I-" Whatever Maxis was about to say was cut off when a bullet went through his skull and came out the other side. Naruto watched with wide eyes as Maxis dropped to the ground dead, blood seeping out of the hole in his skull.

"**Naruto, I know what you're thinking. But please, consider-**" Akane started, though Naruto wasn't listening. A familiar bubbling red chakra shroud quickly covered Naruto and the blond began to see red.

"GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto yelled, his whisker-like scars becoming more animalistic, his eyes glowing brightly and turning crimson red with a slit for the pupil, and his fingernails sharpening until they were claws.

"Target down! The subject is - what the?!" a man dressed in black carrying a smoking CZ-75 questioned as he came upon the sight of Naruto.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto exclaimed, charging at the man.

-The Next Morning-

Naruto's eyes fluttered open when the morning light clashed against his closed eyelids.

"Ugh... What happened?" Naruto questioned out loud as he looked around at his surroundings, only to let out a gasp when he saw the blood and carnage around him. The corpses of dozens of men dressed in black suits littered the ground, and then there was Maxis's body. The blond's eyes softened and tears fell from his eyes as he gazed upon the deceased body of the man that gave him his freedom.

"**Naruto, you need to get moving.**" Akane said.  
'Akane... What happened?' Naruto mentally asked.

"**You accessed my chakra subconsciously when Maxis was shot and you killed every one of the men that were following us.**" Akane replied.

'I... I killed them all...' Naruto thought, mortified as he stared at his own hands.

"**Listen to me, Naruto. You're not a killer! You're not a killer!**" Akane exclaimed. "**Listen, you need to leave this area before someone finds us.**"

"I... right." Naruto mumbled, running across the field and stopping as he came upon Maxis's corpse. The blond boy starred at the deceased man once more before positioning the body to look more dignified, placing Maxis's hands on top of each other over his chest. "Rest in peace, Maxis-san..." he said, looking at the strange weapon on the ground. Sure, they had guns back in the Elemental Nations, but nothing as advanced as these. Naruto grabbed the Revolver and tucked it into his pants as he began to walk away, deciding that having the gun on him would be better than having no weapons at the moment.

As the blond's trail of thought was on guns, his eyes began to glow brightly and his left arm started to change.

"What the fuck?!" Naruto exclaimed, watching as his left arm transformed into a futuristic gun. "What happened to my arm?!"

"**Those experiments!**" Akane said. "**All those alien devices that were stuck into you!**"  
"Do you think it has something to do with those things?" Naruto questioned.

"**Don't talk out loud, Naruto, otherwise people will think you're insane.**" Akane stated. "**But yeah, I think it has something to do with the effects of that Infinity Cell inside you.**"

'What does an Infinity Cell do anyways?' Naruto mentally asked.

"**I'm not sure. It was a Precursor technology, and even tou-san didn't know that much about how Precursor tech worked.**" Akane replied.

'Who?' Naruto mentally questioned.

"**My tou-san, Hagoromo. But that's besides the point. What's more important at the moment is figuring out your new powers.**" Akane stated.

'Right. How the hell do I get my arm back?' Naruto thought, only for his left arm to change back into its original form.

"**I think I've figured it out. You just have to think of what you want to appear and it will.**" Akane concluded.

'What? So if I think about, say, a laser sword for my right arm...' Naruto mentally started, only for his right arm to morph into exactly what he was thinking, a strange alien-like laser sword, causing Naruto to blink in surprise.

"**Oh! Try thinking about shoulder-mounted missile launchers!**" Akane exclaimed eagerly.

'Shoulder-mounted missile launchers? What are you talking abou - What the fuck?!" Naruto exclaimed, his thoughts becoming vocal as a pair of missile launchers sprouted from his shoulders.

"**Epic! You're, like, a cyborg now! Or an android!**" Akane exclaimed.

'I have no idea what those things mean. But I'll take it as a compliment.' Naruto mentally said, getting a sweatdrop from Akane.

"**We can learn more about your new abilities at a later date. I'll try to find out about anything else, but for now get moving.**" Akane said.

"Right." Naruto mumbled, turning to walk out of the field, but abruptly stopped when a searing pain course through his body. "Gah! W-What's wrong with me?!"

"**I've tried to delay this for as long as I could, but the effects of withdrawal from the drugs are taking their toll.**" Akane replied.

"Dammit! I've... got to... got to..." Naruto muttered, collapsing on the ground. His breathing became heavy and his vision blurred, his head began swimming and he broke out into a cold sweat. "Help... Help..." Naruto weakly called out.

-Sainan High School-

"See you later, Haruna-chan!" a young boy exclaimed. The boy stood at 5'1" with golden brown eyes and spiky orange-brown hair. He wore a white button-up shirt and black pants. This boy was Rito Yuuki.

"Come on, Rito-nii, we have to hurry home or else Mikan will make us do more chores." a young girl said. The girl shared some similar qualities to the boy, standing at 5'0" with gold brown eyes, an hourglass figure with high D-cup breasts, and slightly long straight hair that held a less spiky appearance than the boy's hair. She wore a pale yellow school uniform. This girl was Riko Yuuki, twin sister of Rito.

"I know Riko, that's why we've got to hurry." the boy, now identified as Rito, stated, running along the sidewalk alongside the girl, Riko.

"Help... Help..." a weak voice called out.

"Huh? Did you hear that, Rito-nii?" Riko questioned, stopping when she heard the near silent cry for help.

"Hear what?" Rito questioned.  
"It sounded like someone was calling out for help nearby..." Riko said.

"Please..." the same voice pleaded.

"There it is again. It sounds like it was close." Riko stated, looking into the nearby bushes, a gasp of shock escaping her lips. "Oh my kami..."  
"What is it? Oh..." Rito mumbled as he came upon the sight of an unconscious Naruto. "Help me get him up, he looks hurt." he said, pulling Naruto up and placing his arm over his shoulder. "Ah damn! Can you help me carry him, Riko?"  
"Sure." Riko said, slinging Naruto's other arm over her shoulder. "Geez, why does it feel like we're trying to carry a freaking SUV?"

"I don't know, but let's try to hurry." Rito said.

-Yuuki Household-

Rito and Riko quickly made their way to their household, only to come upon the sight of their little sister, Mikan Yuuki. Mikan stood at 4'7" with gold brown eyes and brown hair, wearing a red hoodie and a white skirt.

"You two are late-" Mikan started.

"Not now, imouto-chan!" Riko yelled, it was then that Mikan noticed her two older siblings carrying an injured Naruto.

"Oh my - hurry inside, set him down on the couch!" Mikan exclaimed, the trio of siblings rushing inside and setting Naruto down onto the couch.

"We found him like this on our way back from school. I... We're not sure what's wrong with him." Riko stated.

"Hold on! It looks like he's coming to!" Rito exclaimed.

"Ugh..." Naruto groaned out, his vision swam as he made out two orange-brown blurs and one brown blur. "A... Akane..."

"Are you okay? Can you tell us your name?" Riko asked, a slight tinge of red on her cheeks as she laid her eyes on Naruto. 'My kami... Those abs...' she thought, a little dribble of blood shooting from her nose.

"N... Naruto..." Naruto replied, his voice no louder than a whisper.

"Naruto? What kind of name is 'Fishcake'?" Rito questioned, only to be sucker punched by Naruto, who had yet to move from his position on the couch.

"Maelstrom... asshole..." Naruto said.

"Well, Naruto-kun - Naruto, my name is Riko Yuuki." Riko said. "This is my twin brother, Rito Yuuki, and our little sister, Mikan Yuuki."

"Can you tell us what's wrong with you?" Rito asked, Mikan slapping him upside his head.

"Sorry about him." Mikan said.

"It's okay... Withdrawal..." Naruto mumbled.  
"Withdrawal? You're a drug addict?" Mikan questioned.  
"No... Doctors... Drugging..." Naruto muttered before he blacked out again.

-Fifteen Hours Later-

When Naruto reawakened, he felt a heavy weight on top of him. Groaning, Naruto tried to push the heavy weight off of him, only for his hands to come in contact with something round and soft and... moaning?

"Oh kami, please tell me this isn't what I think it is..." Naruto mumbled, squeezing the round and soft object and receiving the same response as before. It was then that Naruto was able to get a good look at what his hands had grabbed and an atomic red blush spread across his face. Naruto found Riko straddling him with his hands on her ample buxom, a slight dribble of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth, a blush on her face, and a small noticeable nosebleed. She appeared to be sleeping at the moment, but that didn't make it any less worse when she started grinding on him in her sleep.

"Ahem." Mikan called out, causing both teens to fumble around and fall back on top of each other, which in turn caused Riko to let out a feminine scream and hit Naruto with a ladle that she pulled out of nowhere.

"Ugh..." Naruto groaned out, swirls in his eyes. "No, baa-chan, I don't wanna catch Tora todaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy..."

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I must have fallen asleep!" Riko exclaimed apologetically before turning to Mikan. "Not. A. Single. Word."

"Hmm? _Why_ would I say _anything_?" Mikan said in an over-innocent tone. "I mean, it's not like _I_ can use the fact that I caught my _onee-chan_ grinding on some blond we just met in her sleep _as_ he copped a feel." Her voice sounded so innocent, yet the look on her face was as if you were making an unfair deal with the devil itself.

"I recognize that look anywhere. What do you want?" Naruto sighed.

"What can you give me that I want?" Mikan questioned, a devilish grin on her face.

"How many oranges this time?" Riko asked.  
"Fifty... No, sixty." Mikan replied.

"Deal." Riko said.

"What'cha talking about?" Rito asked as he walked into the room.

"Nothing, we're just asking Naruto what happened to him." Mikan lied.

"Oh yeah, what _did_ happen to you?" Rito questioned.  
"I got drugged off my ass by some batshit insane doctors and some men in black." Naruto replied.  
"Pfft! Yeah right, and let me guess, you're an alien as well!" Riko laughed.  
"How did you know?" Naruto questioned, causing Riko to stop laughing.

"You? You're an alien?" Rito said. "But you don't have green skin, or antennas, or tentacles."

"Yeah, but I got this." Naruto said, his left arm changing into its laser cannon form.

"What the?!" Rito, Riko, and Mikan exclaimed, freaking out at the sight of Naruto's arm cannon.

"**You and subtlety, Naruto. It's like you piss on it every time.**" Akane stated.

"What? You're all looking at me like I've grown a third head or something." Naruto stated casually.

"Third head? Where's the second one?" Riko questioned, only for a blush that would put the color red to shame to appear on her face when Naruto reached for his pants and started to pull them down. "Nononononononononononono! No need for that!" she exclaimed, stopping Naruto from taking his pants off.

"I don't get it, you asked to see my second head. Would you rather see it in private?" Naruto asked.

"Y-Err... NO, o-of course not...!" Riko stuttered out.

"So you're really an alien? Where's your spaceship?" Rito asked in an attempt to change subjects.

"What the heck's a spaceship?" Naruto questioned.

"How did you get to, you know, Earth then?" Riko asked.

"All I remember is poof, bam, zoom! And then I appeared in a forest. Then there were strange men, then the sadistic doctors, and yadda yadda yadda I'm here now." Naruto stated.

"Could this day get any weirder?!" Rito questioned, only for a bright light to appear in the middle of the living room.

"**Freedom!**" a feminine voice exclaimed. When the light died down, a young woman was floating in the center. The woman stood at 5'10" with near white skin, extremely long, sweeping white hair that had a slight glow to it, an hourglass figure with J-cup breasts, delicate facial features, and two horn-like protrusions which stuck out from her head. She wore what appeared to be the remnants of a high-collared hime-kimono, the article of clothing torn in such a way that it revealed her curves and smooth skin. This alone caused Rito to run out of the room, Mikan to look on with indifference, and Naruto and Riko to shoot back with nosebleeds.

"Damn..." Naruto said, wiping the blood from his nose as he got back up.

"**Ah, after one thousand years of imprisonment...**" the woman said, stretching out and exposing her curves even more, which in turn caused Riko, who had only momentarily gotten back up, to shoot back down to the ground with a nosebleed. Naruto was more resilient, only a small stream of blood coming from his nose. "**Which one of you is the chakra user?**"

"Katra-what now?" Riko questioned.

"**Okay, you're not it then.**" the woman stated.

"Umm... I think that would be me...?" Naruto said hesitantly, only for the woman to float over to him, grab him, and... kiss him?

"**Is that tongue I see?**" Akane teased.

"**Nice to me**et you, my name is Kaguya Ootsutsuki, but you can just call me Kaguya-chan!" the woman, now identified as Kaguya Ootsutsuki, said.

"Uhh... Hi, the name's Naruto Uzumaki..." Naruto sputtered out, a blush on his face.

"Hmm... I sense another chakra presence... Aha!" Kaguya exclaimed, placing her hand on Naruto's stomach. Naruto, in turn, fell down clutching his stomach in pain as a strange woman shot out of his stomach. The strange woman stood at 5'9" with slightly tanned skin, F-cup breasts, blood red eyes with slits instead of pupils, spiky orange hair that went down to her waist and split off into nine parts. And... she was naked.  
"Kami dammit!" the woman exclaimed.

"Akane...?" Naruto called out, causing the woman to freeze up with a blush on her face.

"There. It's good to see you again, little Aka-chaaaaaaann." Kaguya said.  
"Shut up, baa-chan!" Akane yelled, causing a tick mark to appear on Kaguya's face.  
"Who you callin' baa-chan, gaki?!" Kaguya yelled.

"You, baa-chan! You're, like, a thousand years old!" Akane retorted.

"Nine hundred fifteen! Why must you round the number?!" Kaguya exclaimed before grabbing Naruto and stuffing the blond in between her ample buxom. "Besides, at least I'm still hot enough to leave a young stud sputtering!"

"Bitch please, I've known Naruto-kun longer than you have! He's practically putty in my hands!" Akane exclaimed, grabbing Naruto from Kaguya's funbags of destruction. The blond took in as much air as he could before he found himself stuffed in Akane's breasts. This in turn pissed off Kaguya and soon enough, Naruto's head was used in a tug-of-war between Akane and Kaguya's ample breasts. Riko soon quickly got involved in this battle, but only to try and help Naruto escape the sea of estrogen he was being drowned in.

Unfortunately, the Yuuki twin's curse kicked in, and Riko tripped over seemingly nothing, tackling Naruto to the ground as her hands accidentally reached around his pants and pulled them down, all the while suffocating Naruto with her breasts.

"Oh? To think that we've been arguing this whole time when it's plain and clear who the real enemy is." Kaguya stated teasingly.

"I-It's not l-like that!" Riko stuttered out.

"So you're willing to share him with us?" Akane questioned teasingly.

"N-NO!" Riko exclaimed.

"Ah I see, you want to keep him all to yourself." Kaguya teased.

"NO! I mean... I..." Riko stuttered before promptly fainting from embarrassment.

"Ah, how cute... Now we can have Naruto-kun all to ourselves." Kaguya stated.  
"Now hold on just a minute! How the hell did you get Akane out of the seal?" Naruto questioned, pointing accusingly at Kaguya.

"I used some Yin-Yang crap and yadda yadda yadda - Do you have any carrot cakes here?" Kaguya said dismissively.

"No, but there's a bakery nearby that has carrot cakes... I think." Mikan stated.

"Thanks! Erm... What was that jutsu to transform again?" Kaguya asked sheepishly.

"The Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)?" Naruto questioned.

"Oh yeah! That one! Henge no Jutsu!" Kaguya exclaimed, transforming into a blond businesswoman. "I'm off on my quest for carrot cakes!" And with that, Kaguya flew out of the room. A few seconds later, her head popped back into the doorway. "By the way, Aka-chan and I are going to be staying here as well. Sooooooo bye!" Kaguya said before flying back out.

"... What kind of chaos have we let into our household?" Mikan questioned, watching Naruto shift his arms back and forth from various alien weaponry, Akane, who was still naked as the day she was born, pressing her assets into Naruto's back, her older brother running around with his hands covering his eyes to avert from the sight of Akane's nudity, eventually slamming into the wall and knocking himself out cold, and her older sister, who had yet to recover from her embarrassment. Even knocked out, Riko had an atomic red blush on her face coupled with a nosebleed and all the while muttering something about 'shameless blondes' and 'teasing aliens' in her sleep. 'Yep...' Mikan thought. 'Things are certainly going to be different around here now...'

Chapter End

* * *

**Post Notes**

**AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDD DONE! This is sort of a experimental fanfic that I'm sending out to see how it does, so I hope you enjoy! This is one of a few ideas that I've come up with and am debating to write. Other than that, I really don't have much else to say, so I'll see you guys next time! Read and Review!**

**-CrimsonKyuubiSage out!**


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